Category Thirteen: The Random, Wayward Musings of an Unsigned Writer

As March comes to a close and my 'Steve' post is expectedly late (thanks to midterms), I find myself waxing and waning about writing on something I feel compelled to talk about. And something I think people should know.

There is a menacing trend occurring within the fraternity of the caduceus (the winged staff with two serpents twined around it, symbolizing the medical profession); the future doctors of America, otherwise simply known as, medical students.

I have multiple friends attending multiple medical teaching universities and one trend continues universally that I find somewhat disconcerting… alright, a lot disconcerting.

The age-old mantra of ‘tough love’ at first appears to be suited for this scenario, but quickly you realize that notion is perverted into something much, much worse. The slang around the hospitals is called “getting pimped,” I call it completely asinine.

Medical students study their eyes into a blood-shot fervor and work their fingers to the bone. Their reward for their pain and suffering is a public proverbial slap in the face when their mentors chide and berate them for not knowing all of the idiosyncrasies and minutia of the human animal.

One infamous account is of a doctor handing his students a McDonald’s application after the student gives an incorrect response and having them repeat, “Would you like fries with that?” Other times it’s something as simple as the doctors taking in a good laugh with the residents in front of the other students, other doctors and even patients. As would be expected, this leaves medical students shaken and unconfident.

Training students for intensely-pressured situations may be an excuse but it is not a justification for being an asshole. Logic follows that one performs better when they go into a situation with at least a shred of confidence. Stripping that confidence away; taking someone’s dignity in the process, only proves that you are an intellectual elitist who finds self-validation in the degradation of others. Go team!

The point I’d like to make to these doctors is that, quite frankly, you are not God; you just play one every day when you put your white coat on. Remember where you went to school and remember that there is always someone better and smarter than you. For all of the knowledge you possess about medicine, there are thousands PhD’s out there with more knowledge on subjects like foreign policy, economics, business administration and history.

My point is simply, there are smart people everywhere and the idea is to spread all knowledge without the price of a person’s dignity. So what if it happened to you? You may not remember that you mother taught you two wrongs do not make a right. Medical students may respect the doctors they learn under, but they fear them more.

If you ask me, there are easier ways to make money than having a superior berate you for four straight years. But that’s just my two cents.