Category Thirteen: The Random, Wayward Musings of an Unsigned Writer

Nine months and counting and the end is almost here. As this semester winds to a close, it provides a great time for reflection.

For many, this time of year signals graduation parties, weddings, barbecues and baseball games. For me, it will be a chance to catch my breath from a rollercoaster of a year at Iowa State before doing it all again in August.

The sequel to this year should prove to be much better as I am older and wiser now by an entire 365 days. I’ll have my dog living with me for the first time in nine months and I’ll have a roommate to share the rent with. Life will be good.

This time of year also proves some what dichotomous. On one hand, everyone’s spirits are lifted as Spring rolls in and rejuvenates everyone and everything. With it also comes a crushing sense of apathy and laziness; the will to do nothing but lounge poolside, hit the greens, and enjoy the company of friends with a tasty beverage of your choice. Productivity is at an all-year low.

There is something to be said for recharging the batteries, though. This is more than likely a foreign concept to those in the 12-month work force, but I have come to realize that having summers off could quite possibly be the coolest thing about being a full-time student.

Work hard for nine months and take the next three off. Who wouldn’t like that?

This is why I feel that there should be a student-for-life program instituted. My dream is that one day, those who truly appreciate academia will be rewarded with interest-free stipends from the government to become a life-time student.

This would, of course, come with all of the nifty full health and dental benefits one would receive from a “real” career.

In this world you would only take classes that interest you. This could signal the end of Statistics and Calculus classes as we know it because, as we all know, nobody actually uses those in real life. Okay, maybe Statistics but given their druthers, no one would take it.

The more I think about this possibility the more exciting it becomes. But then I begin to think that this idea is already implemented. The professional life-time student is actually just a graduate professor with tenure.

Since professor salaries are public knowledge, I also was able to find out that some of my very own professors make nearly $100,000 a year [with summers off]. It looks like I finally know what I want to do when I grow up.